As I walked onto our house terrace that morning pumped full of coffee, something was different. The yellowish beige dog that had strayed onto our property just the day before was giving birth. Goldie, as we quickly started calling her, had crawled into the cat’s basket and was delivering puppies as Tessa’s cat Sibert looked on from a safe distance, dazed.
None of us had seen anyone or anything give birth before. The puppies were tiny, wriggling things with teeny red paws, and Goldie, whose mothering instincts kicked in, continually licked and nudged them with her nose. As we gazed on, softly cooing at this unexpected miracle, the fourth puppy arrived, still wet from birth. The weather was perfect, too: it was mild, with blue skies, as if the nature devas had agreed to tone it down for a few hours to welcome new life.
Since living here, we have experienced many surprising, unexpected events—in a nutshell, good, bad and everything in between. But the births brought with them magic. Birth is about things new, about growth, change, and beginnings; it’s a manifestation of potent potential that has yet to determine its path. The puppies’ arrival heralded a new phase of positivity and belonging in Portugal because the valley literally gifted us with new life.
There was only one day of puppy bliss before the rains came. For several days, the skies unleashed themselves with a fury on the land, creating rivers that swept things away, jettisoning it all downhill. At night I slept restlessly, dreaming of Noah’s ark while our camper roof leaked. In the house, water seeped through the kitchen’s stone walls. The wet winds forced us to move our hefty dining table inside, into a room crowded with furniture and kitchen supplies, while the puppies slept, warm, dry, and oblivious.
At this time a new volunteer joined us, and she knew how to trigger tempers like an expert defence lawyer. So, we were cramped inside our humid cocoon for days with nowhere to turn. There was no break in the weather outside and personalities clashed inside. My heart sank like the water gathering in my rain boots because that unexpected magic was already soggy.
This is all to say that in August, life was a roller coaster. Things went DOWN: our contractor had a sudden marriage blow-up and skipped the country, leaving us with unfinished projects, crumbling plans and shoddy workmanship. Things dipped DOWN again: my mother visited from California and the day I picked her up, the car started shaking and shuddering a few kilometers from the hotel. I desperately drove uphill in the unapologetic heat until we reached the hotel. Things went UP: we reached the hotel! But what was supposed to be a relaxing week was spent trouble shooting, finding a rental car and picking the car up from the garage.
Then things went UP again. In September, I found Nela through a volunteer group on Telegram, liked her energy and invited her to join us. She did, leading to a week full of interesting discussions. She is Croatian, with a liking for Vikings and could easily have been one herself with her blond dreadlocks, knowledge of herbs, and wilfulness. Goldie was drawn to Nela, too, and came to her with her first puppy in her mouth. Unfortunately, it had died but Nela resuscitated the second one before moving Goldie to the terrace.
The puppies were born, things went UP, UP, UP. It started raining (UP because we need it… and DOWN, as so much was leaking!), and the new volunteer wasn’t working out, either, leading to stress, conflict, disappointment and a sense of wasted time. The track was rolling DOWNward yet again.
I have experienced so many favourable and unfavourable twists and turns recently that it’s obvious (and cliché) that accepting whatever happens is the path of least resistance. We all basically know we can’t control anything in life. Life is steering the boat and our job is to keep it steady and trust the rest, especially when it's a rough ride. Worrying doesn't help because we can’t control outcomes, either!
This is ironic for someone like me, who likes to plan and prides herself of her organisation skills. Just life keeps happening differently. I am constantly being invited to roll with the unexpected and manage my disappointments so they are short-lived. I haven’t mastered this skill yet. I am still working on how to welcome unwelcome surprises and appreciate their value. Like seeing leaks as useful information, pointing out what needs to be fixed. When the car broke down at the hotel, I was forced out of my comfort zone to find English speakers to help me phone a mechanic. I ended up meeting a Portuguese couple whose help reinforced why I came to Portugal.
While I still have expectations and can’t ditch them entirely, it’s good being reminded that things never happen as you plan. I am getting used to riding the rollercoaster with much more presence, knowing downs are a given (and yes, they feel awful), but that ups always follow, too. As Keanu Reeves put it, "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.'
And dude, that is so much more enjoyable that wrestling with them.
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